What to do, what to do...

Patience is probably one of the hardest things for me to figure out, does anyone really have it down? I know I don't need someone in my life but then you get those lonely moments where you think about all those people who have someone and yet here I am still alone, and I made that choice. Still better to be this alone then that unhappy, worth it all. Here is the thing, I tried so many things, so many websites, the wrong ones, one that I thought was a good one but turned out to be a waste of my money. I did meet one guy on match.com that set my standards though. He was the first guy that I had those special feelings for, that excitement when I heard from him, the feeling that you can't wait to see him again and I have to admit that there were sparks when we kissed. Sadly though that didn't work out cause he turned out to be a coward not ready for a relationship and family. Haven't felt like that again and I won't settle for anything else. I get to be picky and choosy, have I not earned that?

I did join a great singles' group at my new church but I never really looked at it as a way to find a guy. I look at it as a way to meet fellow single believers and create a great group of friends. I have already met some great people and for those of you that know me well, I have really had to just be a new person. Before I would have never just walked into a new church by myself and had the guts to throw myself into a group but I had to do something. Thankfully God had a lot to do with that, started me out meeting great people that made me feel so welcome. I do worry of course, it is inevitable. I worry about lots of little things.

Here is the thing, I am thinking of joining eHarmony. It is more expensive and still yet another website but it is supposed to be the best, my mom has even asked me about joining it. And I did join the free version but not paying for it all you can see is some profile information about the person and I do like some of what I see on who they are connecting me to but I can't know much till I can see them and communicate with them.

Some days I just want to sit back and enjoy being just me, me and my girls and this nice little life we have started and just wait for God to put His plans in motion. Other days I want to be looking and meeting people. I am not finding guys in my daily life. I keep waiting for all my friends and family who are couples to hook me up with that great single guy that they know but so far that is not happening either.

I just feel so frustrated some days, I am a wonderful woman with so much to offer, why doesn't anyone want to be with me. Ok I have had a few guys that I have had to turn away that did want me and many I had to turn away that wanted me. But I do have so many things that I want in that guy that I end up with. And as we all know I am no longer just thinking about myself, any guy that gets me gets two amazing little girls in the deal. I have to have someone great when it comes to what I deserve and what they deserve, pretty sure I am not finding that on a website. I will just keep praying and take this time to get my life together. God please grant me patience please or a great man, either will help me out a whole lot.