Feeling Defeated

I know, I know, I keep trying to tell myself that it takes time but it is so frustrating. I am disgusted with my body. I know the devil is trying to bring me down and I really am trying to not let him in any part of my life. I am not quitting, not in any way. I am keeping up with my new way of eating and I had two great days this weekend that I got to go on nice jogs and I did jog more than ever before. If I could I would work out all day.  I am getting so good at fighting temptation. Saturday I wanted to go grab some fast food but instead I had a luna bar and today on the way home from my parents I just wanted to pull into a drive through but I resisted and came home and had a Lean Cuisine meal. I looked back at some pictures from this summer and I can see that I have changed but I am still having to see myself in the mirror everyday. I wish I could go into more here but I have to save something for my therapist. I guess I just have to make a decision to think better about myself. I am working hard and people are noticing that I am changing. 

Once again I did not get on the scale, maybe next week. I just didn't want to see if there was no change from my exciting time on the scale last week. I need to get myself a digital scale, those are recommended. I also really need to get back on Alli (I went through the bottle my parents got me) but I have been putting it off cause it is so expensive. But I really do think it helped me lose more weight than I could have on my own. And to those of you that have heard the rumors of the terrible side effects, no it doesn't make you poop in your pants or almost have accidents. 

Well please keep me in your prayers. 

Here is my prayer through this time in my life, hopefully it will help some of you like it has helped me;"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." Philippians 4:6-7 (The Message)