I haven't gained any weight, maintenance has actually been pretty easy. I know my limits, I still keep a good diet, mostly. I try to keep active but find it VERY hard to work out. I am so busy and active with work and everything I am still feeling good and for a while there I would run whenever possible, still my favorite thing to do, just not in the cold!
I am getting a gym membership for Christmas, that is all I really want. It will mean I have to pay $30/month for childcare at the gym but it is worth it to me. First of all I will be able to stay fit and even loose more and secondly I will get some much needed time to myself and it will be fun for the girls too. Excited about that! I do have about 15 pounds still that I want off, maybe more, depending, not gonna quit. Still frustrated with the whole skin issue, the more I lose the worse it is and nothing can fix it except very expensive surgery. It is just so hard to feel so good about all I have done but still hate my body. Oh well, someday it will happen, it is a goal I have set and it will happen some day!
The girls and I are doing pretty great here in our cute little place. I love being here in Olathe, so close to everything and my parents have been a HUGE help, the help keep me sane. This job was not meant to do alone. Parenting is a 2 person job and for one person it just isn't fair but I know that I will make it through. Some days when I am just sitting here alone I really think too much but I am truly happy. I am learning to be happy on my own, to be strong and confident. If one day there is a special someone in my life that would make me very happy but for now I am just going to enjoy the single life. I need to know who I am and be a strong independent woman, a good example for my girls.
I realized something the other day. Emma used to have terrible nightmares at our old house. She would yell out and cry in her sleep and I recently realized that she hadn't done it since we moved in here. I couldn't figure it out till now. I really think it was a lot to do with that house and Kevin and I. That house was filled with anger, hurt, pain, and sadness and it was all around her for a long time. Now she is living here and there hasn't been any fighting, yelling, tears or upset and I think she is free from the nightmares. Now there is happiness, confidence, and so much strength surrounding her.
Ok that is it for now. I will keep it up now, this is a crazy busy time of year but I love it. More to come...
2 comments:
I will always read your blog!! I'm so glad Emma has not had any nightmares! You are a really great mom!! :)
i always check in with your blog. happy about emma too. and im sure things will keep getting better. yes parenting is hard. granted i do have nick but lately its only on the weekends so i know how tired and frustrating but its all worth it. god chose us to be moms and he chose the kids to be with us for a reason. and with the skin stuff hopefully you will figure something out. write around to drs seek help, etc. share your story. it might get chosen to get done free or discounted or something. saw it happen on one show the other day. i guess thats why im afraid to lose weight too. my whole stomach is so stretched that im afraid to see what it lookslike if i lose it. and im still not sure if im done having kids. anyway i am proud of you and keep wishing you the best.
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