I haven't gained any weight, maintenance has actually been pretty easy. I know my limits, I still keep a good diet, mostly. I try to keep active but find it VERY hard to work out. I am so busy and active with work and everything I am still feeling good and for a while there I would run whenever possible, still my favorite thing to do, just not in the cold!
I am getting a gym membership for Christmas, that is all I really want. It will mean I have to pay $30/month for childcare at the gym but it is worth it to me. First of all I will be able to stay fit and even loose more and secondly I will get some much needed time to myself and it will be fun for the girls too. Excited about that! I do have about 15 pounds still that I want off, maybe more, depending, not gonna quit. Still frustrated with the whole skin issue, the more I lose the worse it is and nothing can fix it except very expensive surgery. It is just so hard to feel so good about all I have done but still hate my body. Oh well, someday it will happen, it is a goal I have set and it will happen some day!
The girls and I are doing pretty great here in our cute little place. I love being here in Olathe, so close to everything and my parents have been a HUGE help, the help keep me sane. This job was not meant to do alone. Parenting is a 2 person job and for one person it just isn't fair but I know that I will make it through. Some days when I am just sitting here alone I really think too much but I am truly happy. I am learning to be happy on my own, to be strong and confident. If one day there is a special someone in my life that would make me very happy but for now I am just going to enjoy the single life. I need to know who I am and be a strong independent woman, a good example for my girls.
I realized something the other day. Emma used to have terrible nightmares at our old house. She would yell out and cry in her sleep and I recently realized that she hadn't done it since we moved in here. I couldn't figure it out till now. I really think it was a lot to do with that house and Kevin and I. That house was filled with anger, hurt, pain, and sadness and it was all around her for a long time. Now she is living here and there hasn't been any fighting, yelling, tears or upset and I think she is free from the nightmares. Now there is happiness, confidence, and so much strength surrounding her.
Ok that is it for now. I will keep it up now, this is a crazy busy time of year but I love it. More to come...
