My new shoes!

I am so lucky! I have such amazing support from all around me, my parents helped by buying me the weight loss med Alli, and now my in-laws, Bob and Cindy got me an amazing pair of shoes. Cindy took me to Elite Feet on Saturday where they have awesome customer service, they watched me walk and then he (the owner, who Bob and Cindy have gotten to know because they buy all their running shoes there) had me try on a few different pairs. I ended up getting some Brooks tennis shoes, they really do make a difference! I am so thankful to Bob and Cindy, I could never have afforded them on my own but they said they wanted to help me because they saw how hard I was working and they know the benefits of good shoes. So that evening I broke them in, I planned to jog from my parents house to 143rd street and around that big area of the schools but once I got to 143rd I felt pretty good so I decided to see how far I could go. I got to 151st! Those of you who don't know the area that is about 4 miles from my parents house to 151st and back. The shoes felt great and although sore, I felt great too! 

Sunday was quite a cheat day, I am glad I was good on Saturday, we went to Lowry City for my grandma's 75th birthday and there was an amazing amount of delicious food.  I did better then I would have in the past but it was hard to stop eating. I still have not gotten on the scale, maybe next weekend, maybe. My in-laws gave me some extra hand weights and a set of steps for step aerobics and I got another new DVD so I am getting quite a collection. If anyone else has anything to donate for the cause (work out DVDs, etc) I would gladly take them.  OK I better go get a good work out in for today. I will keep on posting, one day at a time, not giving up!

The Biggest Loser

So I finally broke down and watched it. It was actually a good thing, yeah it was frustrating to see every one of them lose more than 10 lbs and some lose in the 20's. But then the next week some only lost 2 so that helped. The part that got me was when they had the doctor show each family a healthy body part such as the lungs, heart and liver and how it looks in a healthy person and then how it looks surrounded by fat. The organs were just straining under all of that disgusting fat. And they told a 26 year old girl that her body was actually the biological age of 47 because of her obesity. It really woke me up. I know that now I am doing what I need to do but I just pray that I can keep it up, it really is hard, I know it will get easier as time goes by and I get used to it and more in shape. I just don't want to lose any part of my life because I am too lazy to keep up my work-outs. 

Last year when I watched the biggest loser I would watch it while I ate or while just sitting there on the couch, thinking that I wasn't quite as big as those people. This year though I am changing that. Tonight while I watched it (Two 2 hour shows minus the commercials) I decided to change that couch potato image and I worked out while I watched it. I did 100 crunches, which is my new goal, to do 100 crunches every night, and then do more as time goes by. It is amazing how much easier they have gotten. I also did a good arm work out with my 5 pound weights and then a few other things. And on top of all that I got all my laundry done, folded and upstairs. I feel very accomplished! 

Some moments I am feeling great and noticing small changes but then I see so many things that I hate. My flabby stomach that I am scared will never go away, my huge thighs, my back fat and much more. I just am so tired of being disgusted with myself and I am so impatient. I am also deathly afraid of the scale, like you wouldn't believe. So many times before I have worked hard to lose weight and then gotten on that scale and seen little to no change so I just give up. The last time I got on the scale at my parents house it said 209 and I haven't been back on it in a few weeks. I want to see if I have made progress cause it feels like I have and unless people are liars many  have said that they can see a difference. I just know it will destroy me if I haven't lost another 5 or more. I know, I know, it is gradual but other people who work this hard see results and I have talked to doctors and I am doing everything right. Please pray that this is working, it just has to, I really am scared.

My Weekend

So I had a pretty fun weekend. I got the house cleaned on Thursday and Friday, all the laundry done!!! Then after working out and packing I got Emma from school and headed to O-Town. I got to go to dinner with Kristy and Aimee ( a cheat night but I did pretty well, got a chicken fajita wrap, yummy, no pop!) Then Saturday I got a girls day out with Kristy, we went to see "The Women" which I really enjoyed, I was bad and hadn't had lunch so I got a soda (small though!!) and a pretzel, then we went shopping out at the Legends so we worked off some of the junk food walking around out there. Then we went to dinner and she and I split this yummy plate of chicken nachos and we both had water, we couldn't even come close to finishing that plate between the two of us, so I felt like I did well there. 

Then today we had a birthday party for Marcia (happy birthday!!!) and we had tacos and I was very proud of myself, I had one taco and a little taco salad. In the past I would have gone back for a whole plate of seconds and today I had no seconds!! And I was full. I have figured it out; in the past when I still felt hungry right after eating I would just continue to eat, but now if I wait a while I feel full ( I know duh, right!) Also as yummy as it looked I didn't even eat a piece of cake!! 

Then I made my lazy bum dad go with me up to OE to see how we did walk/jogging a mile on the track. We walked the curves and jogged the straights and got it done in 13 minutes and then walked another half mile after that. I am feeling it now, it is very different to do my work-outs here at home vs. going out and jogging, I have a lot of work to do. Eventually I would like to be able to go a mile in under 10 minutes. That way when I do a 5K (hopefully in the spring) I can do it in 30 minutes or so. Otherwise it was a great weekend, gorgeous weather, and I am looking forward to another week of hard work, gonna try to get out and walk more around the neighborhood, I need to see if their are any walking trails here in this area. 

I so greatly appreciate everyone who has commented, emailed, called or talked to me about this, it really keeps me going strong! I have nothing in me that wants to give up. I feel the changes already but then I notice how far I have to go and it can feel frustrating but I have to take it one day at a time. 

I have a question, I love the show "The Biggest Loser" and I have it recorded and was going to watch it but I don't know if it would help or hurt me. I know it would help to see people losing and get tips and such but I also think it would be frustrating to feel like I am working so hard and losing slowly while they lose 10+ pounds in one week. Should I watch or not?

If only everyday could be like today

Today I feel really great and excited. I ate really well today, meaning I stayed under my calories and don't feel hungry. I worked out this morning to my Biggest Loser work out DVD and then I took the girls to the library and then the park cause it was a beautiful sunshiny day. I played with Emma, we ran around and I went across the monkey bars, haven't done that in a while. Then later it was still nice out so we took a walk and Emma practiced riding her bike, she got tired after a while so I had to push a stroller and pull her on the bike. Then I got home and had a huge accomplishment, I mowed the lawn all by myself, ok, not all by myself, I had to call Kevin's cousin Travis and ask him to come over and start it for me, shh, it is harder than it looks. But I did the hard work and was dripping sweat by the end. 

So it was a great day and I am excited about this weekend. I am going to go run/jog a mile at the track at Frontier just to see how I do, how long it takes me and such. I will probably do more but I just want to see how I do. My dad said he would do it with me. Then I get a day without kids to spend time with my best friend and eat some good food (my cheat day!!!) Don't worry I won't throw all my hard work out the window, I know portion control but anything taste better than these meal replacement bars and slim-fast shakes!

Also I got a accountability partner, my friend Tonja out in California is on the same track, and her husband is deployed so she is trying to do it before he gets back. So that is good for me cause we can keep each other going and know that we can't let each other down. That is all for today, I won't write everyday but today was a good day and I feel healthy and happy.

In the Beginning

So I decided to do a blog about my weightloss journey, that way I really can't give up, cause then it would be public and embarrassing. So here we go. Around August 10 I started an exercise program, just work-out videos at home, but I do them every day except Sunday. And I have started to do more difficult ones. I also started a strict diet and so far have lost 8 lbs! That is the best I have done in a very long time, so it feels great. I hate to admit it but I have to, I was 230 lbs when I went into the hospital to have Ruby (though I was 220 when I got pregnant, so I only gained 10 lbs thankfully), then at my next appointment I was 218 and at my most recent appt. I was 212. My first goal is 199, obviously cause it is below 200 where I will never be again! Eventually I would like to weigh 140 and then see from there how I feel. I would like to reach that goal by May/June of next year so I realize that this is not a quick or easy task. I started this blog to record the ups and downs and to keep myself accountable. 

I am really feeling good about myself lately, all my jeans fit really well out of the wash (which girls you know what I am talking about, you usually have to break them in). I am fitting in clothes I haven't fit in for a long time. I feel energetic and happy and healthy.

My diet is just a low-cal, low-fat, smaller portions thing, nothing specific. I drink slim-fast and eat meal replacement bars and eat lean cuisine frozen meals and 100 calorie packs for snacking. And my biggest thing is that I gave up pop, which I have cheated on a few times, but not too badly. I have found that I used to live to eat but I need to make it so that I eat to live. 

I know some people don't believe in me and don't think I can do it, I myself thought so for too long, but this time is so different, I want to be proud of myself and I want people to be proud of me, I want my girls to see a healthy and happy (and sexy) mom. 

I know that time flies, my tiny little baby is now a giant 9 month old and the time went by so fast so I know that I will look back on this one day and be proud cause I did it.